I have left, Eva writes, trying to make the letters even despite the bumps and jolts of the wagon.
I often dreamed about running away from this life, these years of monotony and worthlessness. Now I am even more worthless. I have no magic, no spark or whatever powers what most people can do. And yet, strangely, I feel more needed now. As if I have been released from the expectations of magical life and am free to be needed in different ways. I am away from my old life, the one I always wished to be rid of. I feel alive. I feel wonderful. I feel... different.
I feel scared.
I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready...
I often dreamed about running away from this life, these years of monotony and worthlessness. Now I am even more worthless. I have no magic, no spark or whatever powers what most people can do. And yet, strangely, I feel more needed now. As if I have been released from the expectations of magical life and am free to be needed in different ways. I am away from my old life, the one I always wished to be rid of. I feel alive. I feel wonderful. I feel... different.
I feel scared.
I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready...